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Ruins Of My Heart (Closed)

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Post by Leo Wyatt Wed Apr 11, 2012 9:39 pm

When Leo got home, he had absolutely lost it. Not even Damon had been able to calm the furious boy down. His sister wasn't home, neither was the woman that lived with him. Leo knew pretty damn well what her name was, but at that moment he couldn't be bothered to remember. He screamed, loud and long, until his throat hurt, his ears were ringing and his eyes were stinging.

That was when he started to blow stuff up.

He threw things out of their drawers, off the tables, blew up his pillow, his mattress and the biggest part of his clothes. He continued doing this until he was completely worn out, his body was trembling with effort and his cheeks were wet from crying. He lowered himself to the floor right there, leaning against the wall as he pulled up his legs to his chest.

The last time he had an anger attack like this, had been such a long time ago he couldn't even remember it.

He tried to breath calmly, but he couldn't. He was panting, unable to close his mouth as he sobbed out his fears. He couldn't have fucked it up more than he did this time. This time he fucked up beyond repair.
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Post by Zoltan Maslin Wed Apr 11, 2012 9:52 pm

Zoltan followed Leo, figuring he'd probably go back home. It took him a bit, but he finally reached Leo's house, and found that the door was open. Frowning, he ventured inside. The house seemed empty, but he walked further in. He could hear something from deeper in the house, towards where he knew Leo's room was, but he wasn't sure what the sound was. He hurried to Leo's room and through the door open, and his jaw dropped.

The entire room was destroyed. The drawers were emptied, the tables were cleaned off, and several things had been blown up. Leo was there, sitting against the wall with his legs up to his chest, his arms wrapped around them. Zoltan hurried over and bent down on his knees in front of him.

"Leo? Are you okey?" Zol asked softly.
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Post by Leo Wyatt Wed Apr 11, 2012 10:01 pm

The voice that finally pulled him from his daze-like state, was extremely familiar. Leo snapped his head upwards, his breath hitched in his throat when he saw Zoltan's face so close near his own. He leaned back against the wall, the coldness of the stone calming him, only slightly. He pulled his legs closer to his body and swallowed so he was able to talk, even though his throat was dry.

"What are you doing here?" he muttered quietly, bringing up one hand to rub his face. His eyes were tired, his mind was tired and his heart was tired. He really wished he could curl up and sleep until next week.

"Don't you hate me too?" he mumbled quietly, taking his eyes off the blond's face again, not wanting to look at his face while they talked.
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Post by Zoltan Maslin Wed Apr 11, 2012 10:07 pm

"I want to talk to you," Zoltan answered. He sat on the ground and crossed his legs, looking down at his hands. He wasn't sure how to start. He looked backed up at Leo, saw the wetness of tears on his face. It broke his heart, seeing Leo like this. It's all my fault.

"I could never hate you, not really," Zoltan admitted, and it was true. He could never hate any of his friends, no matter what horrible things they did to them.
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Post by Leo Wyatt Wed Apr 11, 2012 10:18 pm

Leo finally lowered his his legs, so he was now facing Zoltan. He didn't really want to, but he forced himself. His eyes were still watering, but he wiped them roughly with the back of his hand to get off the last restants of his tears. Leo Wyatt didn't cry. Even though he'd already done it.

"Why would you want to talk to me? I was awful to you. And you told Mel what happened, and she punched me in the face, so I doubt you were too happy about my actions," he whispered quietly, biting his lip until it nearly started bleeding.

"You have enough reasons to hate me. Out of everyone there in that room, you had the most reasons to hate me. You should hate me."
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Post by Zoltan Maslin Wed Apr 11, 2012 10:32 pm

"No, I'm not happy about your actions," Zoltan told him, shaking his head. He thought for a moment, wondering what to say next. He didn't know where to start. "Tell me the truth. Do you really remember what happened the other night, when you were drunk?"

"I know I have plenty of reasons to hate you. In fact, I have more than plenty of reasons. Quite frankly, I'm not sure why I didn't hit you along with the others. But I didn't. I don't hate you. You mean too much to me."


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Post by Leo Wyatt Wed Apr 11, 2012 10:40 pm

Leo fell silent again, staring at the floor while Zoltan talked. He knew this question was coming, actually he had gone to Zoltan's house with the idea of talking about this exact thing. That didn't happen though. Leo felt the anger return as he thought about what just happened, his hands clenching into fists again as he tried to calm himself down.

"I do remember, I remember everything. I lied about you kissing me, I know you didn't. I'm sorry," he whispered, pressing his nails into the palms of his hand. "I didn't mean to call you those things, and I didn't mean them. I was just really confused," he added, looking up to meet Zoltan's gaze.

"I don't like you like that though," he whispered. "I was drunk when I kissed you. I don't have a problem with you being gay, but I'm," he swallowed, "I'm not gay."
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Post by Zoltan Maslin Wed Apr 11, 2012 10:52 pm

Zoltan sat there a moment, taking everything in. I should have known he was lying. He noticed Leo's hand were clenched into fists and flinched. Leo's anger issues are probably what had happened to this room, and Zol really didn't want to feel the wrath of a mad Leo at a moment like this.

"I forgive you," Zol said quietly, though he wasn't quite sure if he really meant it or not. He was still very hurt about Leo calling him what he did. He sat there for another moment, watching Leo's eyes, the pain in them.

"I-I didn't mean it like that. I don't like you that way," Zoltan lied. He looked back down at his hands, avoiding Leo's gaze. He stayed like that for a few minutes, then looked back up, pain in his eyes. "So... You felt nothing when you kissed me? Nothing at all?" he forced out.
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Post by Leo Wyatt Wed Apr 11, 2012 11:01 pm

Leo just sat there, trying to control his breathing, trying to remember whatever the doctors, his parents and his sister told him to do when he was worked up like this, but nothing worked. Not the breathing, not the counting and not even trying to picture eveything he liked. Instead he just bored his short but sharp nails deeper into the palm of his hand

Zoltan'ks words caught him off guard. The blond didn't like him like that? He hadn't been expecting that. But it was probably for the better even. That way they could both move on without a problem, seeing as Leo himself wasn't gay.

"No I didn't, I felt nothing," he said, sounding so sincere he nearly believed it himself. Nearly.
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Post by Zoltan Maslin Wed Apr 11, 2012 11:11 pm

Zoltan watched Leo. His heart was breaking even more with everything the boy said. He really felt nothing?.. Zol didn't believe it, not really. There was no way he hadn't felt anything. He had to of felt something, even it was just little.

"I don't believe you," Zol said, shaking his head again. Before he could stop himself, he was leaning over and pressing his lips to Leo's tenderly. He leaned back, searching Leo's face for some kind of reaction. "Look me in the eye and tell me you felt.. nothing."
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Post by Leo Wyatt Wed Apr 11, 2012 11:19 pm

Leo just sat there, his entire body went board-stiff when Zoltan pressed their lips together. Even though it was short and tender and much unlike any kiss Leo had ever participated in before, it was absolutely, utterly perfect. He couldn't name any other kiss that had ever felt this right. But he couldn't say that, he couldn't. Zoltan deserved so much better than him.

And he wasn't gay.

"I felt nothing," he muttered numbly, absolutly no expression but supressed anger readable on his face as he spoke.
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Post by Zoltan Maslin Wed Apr 11, 2012 11:26 pm

Zoltan got up from the floor, the tears stinging his eyes. He walked towards the door and stopped for a second. He hated this, he hated that he was different, that he was gay. He just wanted everything to go back to the way it was before that night, before Leo kissed him, before he figured out he was gay. He wanted it all to go away and never come back.

"Goodbye, Leo," Zoltan called over his shoulder, voice cracked and rough. He left then, not caring to look back, ignoring everything around him.
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Post by Leo Wyatt Wed Apr 11, 2012 11:41 pm

Leo didn't look up as Zoltan stood up, nor did he return the blond's goodbye, he just sat there, looking numbly at the wall only a few feet away. Until he couldn't take it anymore.

It took him six seconds to start crying again. It took him seventeen more to start breathing again and it took him 47 seconds in total to lose control.

This time, everything the boy could get his hands on, was flung through the room. He didn't even register what he was doing until he threw a drawer out the window with all his might, but even then he didn't stop.
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Post by Natalie Wyatt Thu Apr 12, 2012 12:15 am

Nat had been out, clubbing with Becca. She'd really just had to get out of the house, her brother was acting creepy and strange and she still wasn't buying Jack's story about what happened, but she decided not to push it.

After a good night, they'd decided to get home, but when she reached the doors to her house, there was a loud noise and then there was a drawer, lying broken on the ground, just a little away from them.

Natalie tensed up; She knew that drawer, she knew who it belonged to. She turned to Becca slowly. ".. Do you, do you think someone's inside there?" not bothering to wait for an answer the woman jumped into the house, racing up the stairs and towards Leo's room.

WHAT IF THERE'S A BURGLAR IN THERE? WHAT IF LEO'S HOME? WHAT IF SOMEONE'S ATTACKING HIM?

She finally reached the door and pulled it open quickly, her wand in her hand, ready to attack who ever was inside there, but when she saw the room, her wand dropped.

The woman stepped inside,her mind progressing what her eyes were seeing and her mouth hanging wide open. "Leo.." she started, "... William Wyatt. What the fuck is wrong with you?" she looked at him, only then seeing the look on her brother's face; there was definitely something wrong. She hadn't seen him like this in years.
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Post by Leo Wyatt Thu Apr 12, 2012 12:20 am

A voice startled him again, but this time it did not belong to Zoltan. And Leo recognized it immediately. But even the familiar voice of his sister wasn't able to stop his rage.

The next drawer he picked up was flung at the wall, the wood giving away immediately, the contents flying through the room. Leo had picked up a book now, and violently started to tear out the pages before throwing it in the general direction of sister. Then he grabbed a new book and started all over again.

"I fucked everything up! Everything!" He cried, throwing several books through the room before he fell to the floor again.
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Post by Natalie Wyatt Thu Apr 12, 2012 12:41 am

"Leo! Leo! LEO!" Natalie really had no idea what the hell to do, she'd never been the one that had to deal with Leo like this. She tried, she really tried, to remember what her mother used to do, but her mind was blank. Completely, utterly blank.

She shrieked, jumping back as he started throwing things around. "LEO! Leo! Leo, please!" she was begging him now, bending down to grab her wand. She didn't want to do it, but she swore that if he didn't calm down, she'd have to hex him. Something to keep him calm and still.

But it turned out, that no hexes were needed because suddenly the boy was on the floor and Natalie rushed over to him, plopping down on her knees before him, she didn't dare touch him though. "Leo," she whispered, mortified by the sight of him. "Please, talk to me."
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Post by Leo Wyatt Thu Apr 12, 2012 12:51 am

His whole body was shivering viously and he couldn't stop it. Sobs wrecked his entire frame as he started crying again, tears running down his already red stained cheeks. He couldn't remember the last time it had gotten this bed. He just knew that he wanted to break more. Needed to break more. He wasn't done yet.

But he was too tired, too exhausted to get up. So he just lay there instead, crying into his own arms.

"Punched them, kissed me, I'm not gay," he blurted out, more and more nonsense leaving his lips. "I don't want to do it anymore Natty, I don't," he whispered quietly.
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Post by Natalie Wyatt Thu Apr 12, 2012 12:56 am

Her heart was breaking, she didn't fully understand what was going on, but she knew whatever it was, it was bad. Much worse than just some teenage kid drama. It was actually, really and truly hurting her brother.

She really wanted to know who did this to him, while at the same time she was way too frightened to ask. The words his mouth were forming didn't make sense to her. They were way too confusing, she wasn't even sure if she heard them correctly.

"Oh, Leo." she sighed, her voice trembling. "It's okay, sweetheart. We can fix it, you can fix it, sweetheart." she reached out a hand and carefully touched his hair, ready to pull it back if he didn't want her touching him. "I promise, I'll help you."
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Post by Leo Wyatt Thu Apr 12, 2012 1:03 am

Finally, Leo moved. With effort he lifted his head and placed it back in Natalie's lap, still crying but drawing comfort out of the hand that was gently stroking his hair. He missed his mother, he really did. He knew Natalie tried, and she was an amazing sister even if they fought a lot. But at times like this, Leo really missed his mother. Her smell and her touch and her ability to comfort him no matter how horrible he got.

"I can't, I fucked up too bad. It's not going to be okay," he muttered, his tears staining his sisters trousers.

"I hurt them all Nat, all of them. I even made Jack bleed," he continued, his words still not an actual story, but he was unable to shut up, and constantly kept blurting out random things he remembered. All the memories coming as a blow to his face.
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Post by Natalie Wyatt Thu Apr 12, 2012 1:11 am

Just keep stroking, just keep stroking, a voice, that sounded way too much like her mother's, instructed Natalie inside her head and she did as she was told.

"I can help you," Nat's voice broke. "They'll forgive you." she swore, wanting nothing more than just to lean down and wrap her brother in an everlasting hug.

Normally, she'd make a comment about how everyone wanted to make Jack bleed sometime in their lives, but she couldn't force herself to do so, so instead she tried to find something comforting to say. "Leo," she whispered softly. "They are your friends."

She guessed those were the people he was talking about; the Holloway kid, Uber blonde kid and the Ginger. "It's going to be alright." It had to become alright, because there was no way she could handle any more of Leo, not like this.
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Post by Leo Wyatt Thu Apr 12, 2012 11:03 am

"They won't forgive me Nat, not after what I did," Leo whispered, trying to force away the sobs that were still shaking his body. "They were my friends. Were. Not anymore," he added, feeling as if Melanie punched him in the face all over again. Only this hurt even more. Especially because knew that he could have prevented this. He could have, if he hadn't been so stupid.

He should never had kissed Zoltan. Nor should he have kissed Melanie.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, tears still streaming down his cheeks, making his eyes burn. "I'm so sorry," he said again, hiding his face from view. He just wanted everything to go away.
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Post by Natalie Wyatt Thu Apr 12, 2012 12:52 pm

Seeing her brother like this, was breaking Nat's heart. And that was a hard thing to do, but then again her brother had always been a weak spot of hers.

"Oh, Leo." she sighed, stroking his hair still. "I'm sure you can fix it," she said, in a hopeful tone. "Just tell me what happened? Jack's angry at you? Is it Jack?" She'd kill that Holloway kid, really she would.

She wrapped her arms around her brother's shoulders. "Shh, don't apologize, sweetheart. We'll make it okay, it can be made okay."

She was going to find out who did this to her brother and why and then she was going to strangle them and she really didn't care if Leo had been in the wrong or not, no because it was her brother lying so broken on the floor and she did not like that.
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Post by Leo Wyatt Thu Apr 12, 2012 1:09 pm

Leo suddenly moved away from Nat's hold sitting directly across from her, wrapping his arms around his knees again as he hugged them to his chest. He felt vulnerable like this, and much unlike himself, but at that moment, he couldn't be bothered to care. No one but his sister saw him, and possibly if someone else saw him, he would start throwing things around again.

He swallowed and gathered his courage to meet his sister's gaze. "I kissed Zoltan," he whispered quietly. "I didn't mean to, but I did. Then I fell asleep at his place and when I woke up, I was so confused I blamed him for it. And I called him a queer," he continued. "I kissed Melanie after that, but Jack walked in on us, and he has a crush on her. He told Zoltan and they went clubbing, well, you know what happened after that. This afternoon I went to Zoltan's to apologize, but Mel and Jack were there. And Mel punched me, and we got into a fight. And then I punched Jack, twice, we fought as well and I stormed out," he added, before falling silent for a moment, looking down at his trembling hands.

"I came here, and I felt so out of control, I just started to break anything. And then," he swallowed tightly. "Then Zoltan came, and I apologized and told him I didn't feel anything. Because I'm not gay. He kissed me again, and I told him again, and then he left, and I lost it," he told her, his eyes watering. "They're not my friends anymore."
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