The Box And The Baby

[Lucy Odair]

Lucy stared at the box. She didn't understand it. She did not understand what the hell this was exactly. Okay sure, it was a box. A big brown box (a really creepy big box). Why did it have her name on it? Why did it have Will's name on it? Why did it have both their names on it? Their names were not supposed to be on the same thing. Ever.
She reached out with her hand, sticking out her finger and poked the box, kind of expecting it to explode. It didn't. Sadly.

She looked around, the McKinnon kitchen was empty, which made this mystical box even more creepy. Maybe it was a prank. By Lizbet. Or Willow. Willow could totally be a secretly mean person that liked mind fucking with people by sending them boxes. Maybe it was filled with condoms. Revenge.

After another poke, Lucy decided she couldn't take this anymore. "WILLIAM!" she yelled, walking towards the door and sticking her head out it so she could aim her yells at the stairs just to make sure he'd here them. "I NEED YOU. THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE. LIZBET IS SHAGGING SOMEONE ON THE TABLE. ODETTE LOST A FINGER. WILLOW FOUND JACKSON'S GAY-PORN! HELP ME!"

[William McKinnon]

He'd been cleaning up when he heard her scream. Dropping the vacuum, Will leapt over it and down the hallway, before leaping down the stairs and skidding into the kitchen. "What's up?" he asked, looking at her, before gazing past her shoulder and frowning. "Oh bloody hell, have you called me down here to 'oooooh' and 'ahhhhhh' at your new shoes or something?"

He moved closer to the supposed shoebox, only to find it had his name on it. His name and her name. "Okay. Um, who've we annoyed that wants to bomb us?" he asked, raising his eyebrows at it.

He bit his lip and looked at her, before sighing. "Okay, the tension is killing me," he announced before plunging towards the box and pulling the lid off.

His momentary shock subsided into a laugh as he lifted it out of the box and held it to him. "Look, mummy," he said, grinning. "Look at your baby."

[Lucy Odair]

Lucy peered curiously over William's shoulder when he approached the box, but she couldn't really make it out, which was probably good because she was still slightly afraid of it. Yes, boxes with her name on it paired with William McKinnon's were scary!

What if it really was revenge for something? Maybe it actually was a bomb. She'd already had one house go up in flames, she didn't really fancy another.
But when Will started laughing Lucy could breath normally - but that only lasted for a couple of seconds because when he turned around and his lips formed the sentence Lucy had always wished she'd never hear, she wasn't so sure she would ever breath again.

She jumped back, a small startled scream slipping through her lips as she stumbled back further. She stared with horror at the thing William held in his arms. "What-" she teared her eyes from the… thing and looked up at Will's face. "What the fuck is that-!?"

[William McKinnon]

"Mummy!" Will exclaimed in a reproachful tone, covering the baby's ears. "Don't say naughty words in front of baby!" He rocked the baby a little before turning to her. "It's a fake, I think. This is a school thing, isn't it? Where they assign you the baby to look after for some amount of time. And they obviously decided as some sick joke that we would be really good together. Or you know, bad. Or funny. I don't know." He smiled and carefully handed it across to Lucy. "Want to hold your child as I go tell my siblings that they need to have their rooms soundproofed? Loz must have to have one too. Oh, this'll be fun."

He continued to bounce the baby gently as he waited for her to take it from him when he stopped. "This means we're gonna have to share a room," he said, not adding the last part out loud. This means we have to share a room without having sex.

[Lucy Odair]

You cannot hit people holding babies. You cannot hit people holding babies. That's a fake baby though, right? Then it should be okay-

The 'baby' was held out for her and Lucy took another step back, shaking her head. "No." she responded, eyes glued on it. "Just… Just take it away." Her voice was slightly high-pitched. She didn't like the idea of babies, fake or real. She didn't like the idea of more babies, hers or Laura's either. She just really didn't like babies in general. "Throw it out, McKinnon." she crossed her arms, still refusing to accept the doll.

There was no way she was holding… that. There was no way she was accepting… that. There was no way she was going to play 'Happy Family' with William fucking McKinnon. Though, sharing a room wasn't so bad, they could still have sex right? It was just a doll. Dolls didn't actually see or hear anything. She wasn't sharing a room with him without sex, then it was just a waste of time. This fake baby was a waste of time. "Take it away." she repeated, looking from the baby and at William. "I'm not holding it. Oh look, there's a knife! Chop it's head off, please." Maybe if she grabbed it quickly she could reach the window before he would be able to react.

[William McKinnon]

At first Will found her reaction quite comical, although it soon transpired to him how freaked out she actually was. He had two options here, plunge her in at the deep end and laugh or ease her in at the shallows and make her be slightly more tolerable.

"Ah, they need changing," Will said, and he decided that though the first option would have been mildly funny, he couldn't be that nasty to her. Plus his kitchen was tidy. He didn't want her getting baby shit all over the sides. Didn't mean he couldn't have fun though.

"It's a boooooy," he announced with a grin."What shall we call him, Mummy?"

[Lucy Odair]

"Please McKinnon, tell me this is a sick joke. I always thought that was what the baby thing was, a sick joke made by the sixth years to scare the younger-years shitless." she wrapped her arms closer around herself. "Can we give it to someone?"

Lucy had never actually had to be around babies. Sure, her little brother had been a baby once - she barely remembered that scarring time of her life - and there had been other cousins, but she'd stayed away from those. Babies were insanely creepy. They needed a lot of attention. They did not give you alcohol. You could not have sex with them (Without being frowned upon at least). They couldn't possibly be a good thing.

Lucy watched William, the horrified look on her face slowly being replaced by a curious one (but she was still pretty scared). "I don't like boys." she pouted slightly, but took a step towards William to get a better look at the… baby. Their baby. "Oh, and I swear if you keep calling me 'mummy' I will hurt you, McKinnon." she scowled at him and then bit down on her lip. "Does it have to have a name?" Merlin it was so tiny. And it looked so breakable (and life like). "You're going to drop it McKinnon! You're going to break it!"

[William McKinnon]

"Oh yes, I'm just using their cruel ideas to play an elaborate prank on you right now, aha ha ha," Will replied in monotony as he finished off the change with a clean nappy supplied in the box. They'd have to go out to get supplies. "Great joke, did it work?" He lifted the baby back up and bounced him again.

"I'm not gonna drop him!" he protested in as calm a tone as he could muster. He smiled a little as she moved closer, however. She was obviously curious. He held the baby out to her again.

"We're gonna have to go out and get some more supplies," he told her. "They only gave us a few bits and bobs, we need more stuff before they think we're being abusive to him. What's your dad's name? I'm not naming him after mine."

[Lucy Odair]

"You are going to drop it!" Lucy accused again. She really needed to stop calling it an 'it'. She carefully moved a little closer, untangling her crossed arms. She glanced at it. "It's going to start crying if I touch it."

For some strange reason the idea of holding the baby wasn't as scary anymore and for an even stranger reason Lucy kind of wanted to try to hold it. But that couldn't possibly end well could it? It would start crying. She'd drop it. She'd drop it and then it would start crying.

"Supplies?" she repeated, the horrified look spreading over her face again. "You'll have to pick them out… I don't know what babies like. Or need." she looked up at Will. "You don't know my father's name?" Why did she find that weird? Did she know his father's name? No. Why didn't they know each other's father's name? Because you don't have one of those 'relationships' where you actually know things about each other, remember? Just the things that you can use to make each other miserable. "It's Finn."

[William McKinnon]

"Come on, put your arms out and take his head. As long as you support that and keep a firm grip and don't freak out, you won't drop him," Will assured her, smiling. Gosh, he had to stop this. Trying to appease her. What should he care about how comfortable she was?

"Yeah well, you can come with me to the shops or you can have a lie down and recover from the grave shock. Up to you, Odair," he told her, raising his eyebrows. He thought of something then. "You know when Mel gives birth? Are you going to freak out if she ever brings round the baby? Will you freak at my niece or nephew? Blimey Odair. Wait for my parents to have another kid. If you never move out you're just gonna die. What a shame that'll be."

[Lucy Odair]

"I'm going to break it-" Lucy said, shaking her head but she held out her arms anyway. "It's going to be your fault." Why were her legs shaking? It was just a doll. It wasn't even real. It wasn't like she had given birth to a real tiny baby that was actually hers. It was a fake doll. Just a school assignment, a last summer torture. Just a tiny little kind of cute and adorable baby doll-

"It's my baby, too." the words slipped out before she could stop them. "I mean, I should probably go with you to the shops… and see what you buy, you know if I ever want children. Which I wont, but you know incase I ever babysit someone." Which wasn't going to happen either. "And for the sake of this assignment."

Lucy had tried her best to ignore the fact that the oldest McKinnon was having an actual baby and that she'd probably have to be around it when it was born, she didn't really like to give herself nightmares. "I wont freak out at your niece and nephew, I'm not going to be around your niece and nephew." she made a face at William. "If you ever have a child will it be as nice and sweet as you?"

[William McKinnon]

"Okay, right, support his head," Will said, grinning. "Little Finn. Support his head." He positioned her arms around the baby and as carefully as he dared, let go, leaving her to support Finn on her own.

"Right then, I'll go find Odette's old buggy and then we'll go then," he said, biting his lip at her words. She was warming to the idea, then. He'd never heard her insinuate even the smallest possibility of her ever having her own children. It was kind of a weird thought. Who would be the father of her children? It wouldn't be him, would it? They had sex but they weren't exactly the family making type, were they? They were careful. Mind you, Mel was pregnant...

"My baby will be the epitome of kindness just like meeeee," he replied quickly to avoid thinking about procreation any further. "Because we all know I'm a sweetheart who is so kind all the time. Seriously though, I might be screwed up but the others are alright. Hopefully my kids will turn out okay and not a bunch of foul mouthed alcoholics."

[Lucy Odair]

Lucy moved a hand to support the head as Will told her to, until he let go and she started to panic again, wondering why Will was giving her the baby to hold in the first place. No, it wasn't a baby. Just a doll. A doll. A very scary very baby looking doll. That was in her hands. And heavy. And she didn't like it at all.

"I think you should take it back. And take it to go find the buggy. Or, you know, maybe we could just put it back in the box and shut it and not open it again? I think that's a good idea. We don't need the baby to go shopping for the baby things, do we? That'd be a bit weird," not that it wouldn't be weird to just go baby shopping for things with William. But part of her kind of wanted to go anyway. Just to see. In case she had her own child. Not that she ever wanted one of those, she didn't even think about having children. The thought of having children was something that had never ever entered her mind - until now. This assignment was a really, really bad assignment.

"You shouldn't feed your children alcohol, then." Lucy tried to shrug, but then decided it was a bad idea when you had a tiny baby in your arms - it seemed to be asleep though, at least it wasn't crying. She wasn't quite sure she could handle crying yet. "That may help with the non-alocoholic part. I hope my children turn out-" she cut herself off, a wave of horror washing over her as she replayed her sentence in her head.

I hope my children. My children. Children.

[William McKinnon]

"No, you've got him fine," Will replied. "Just hold him while I go route around under the stairs, will you?" He looked just to ensure she was holding the baby correctly, and then went to unsheath the buggy from a pile of crap and clutter.

Once he'd dislodged it, he reached out to take the baby back from her and strapped him in. "Not exactly a pram but it'll do." He looked up at Lucy and smirked. "See, that wasn't so bad, was it?" he said to her. "Come on, we can't leave him on his own. He needs constant supervision, even if he's not real, especially if he's sleeping. Put your hood up if you don't want to be recognised. Chances are we'll run into everyone else doing the same project or they'll just think Mum and Dad have had a new sprog."

He looked at her, getting behind the buggy, and grinned. "I won't forcefeed them alcohol! I just hope they don't pick up the habit." It was her next sentence that made him smile most, however. "You hope your children what?" he asked, grinning. "Miniature Odairs, who'd have thought it?"

[Lucy Odair]

"He's so small." Lucy commented, once William was back with the buggy. Holding the baby on her own wasn't so horrible, she guessed, and when William took it back there was a small - tiny, tiny - part of her wanted to hold onto it.

"You get used to having it in your arms I guess." she said, more to herself than to him. "And I think I can leave my hood off, hoods aren't really my thing." she smiled slightly. "Do you think Laura's got one then? And does that mean another person is moving in? And in with Laura?" she raised her eyebrows. "That's a strange thought, isn't it?"

Of course he wouldn't let her slip-of-tongue go missed and Lucy scowled. She wasn't sure what to go with here, if to act like she hadn't just said she kind of wanted children or if to just punch him in the face, but he did have a baby in front of him, could you punch people with babies? "I hope my children will get Oliver's hair." she replied, after a moment, a smile spreading over her face. "He has so nice hair, don't you think? Oh, and they'd be 'miniature McKinnon's' by the way, if I'm marrying him."

[William McKinnon]

"Yeah, I'll bet you anything it's Thayne who she has to look after the baby with, and he pretty much lives here anyway," Will replied, smirking slightly. She seemed almost reluctant to have handed the baby back. That had to be progress if nothing else was. But then he realised what she was insinuating, and bit his lip. "Thayne and Laura are just friends aren't they?" he clarified. "And I mean, if it's not him, Laura knows what not to do. Ugh. Just... no."

She was obviously recovering from her shock because the stream of teasing had returned and Lucy Odair was springing back to her top form with a crack about Oliver that caused Will to roll his eyes. "Oh yes, when you force my brother to submit to your evil ways. Gosh, I share your hopes for my nieces and nephews. Your hair is horrible." He grabbed the handles of the buggy and pushed it forwards. "Come on then, Odair. Let's go do this thing."

[Lucy Odair]

"Thayne?" Lucy repeated, it was familiar but she couldn't really put a face to the name. "Thayne… Oh, right Thayne." Thayne was Laura's friend. Lucy totally knew him - no she really didn't, but she had seen him and probably talked to him, like once… or twice. She'd heard of him for sure. Lucy didn't really like people. "Yes, they're friends-" she agreed, adding in a slightly lower voice "Friends that have sex." she didn't bothered to keep her voice low, how ever as she continued. "At least he's rather pretty, if they have a real baby it'll be a pretty baby. But Laura probably knows to be careful, I could give them some of my condoms just to be sure though, can't have your other sisters think I favor them because I've already given them condoms, can I?"

She was feeling better, that was for sure. The whole baby thing was still scary as hell, but at least she was getting her meaner-self back. She'd become far too weak from spending too much time with Willow who was also known as the little drop of heaven that forced even Lucy Odair to be nice.

"Oliver and I will have fantastic babies." Lucy nodded her head, her fingers running through her own hair. "Even if they don't get his hair, my hair isn't that bad. It's really soft! My children will have amazingly dark soft hair." William's hair was almost as dark as her. Did that mean if they had a child said child would have that hair-Okay, her and William having a real baby? That was a creepy thought. "Okay let's go, but just so you know I think I might need something strong to drink when we get back."

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